A Dark Age For Stargate Fans Is Fastly Approaching

We all know by now about the news that any possibility of Stargate returning any time soon is a very distant dream. In fact I've been seeing a lot of sites that are pretty much throwing in the towel when it comes to saving SGU or the films and are now praying to the master of reviving old science fiction franchises: JJ Abrams to "Star Trek" the Stargate franchise as soon as humanly possible. Brad Wright himself has said that "Somebody smart from MGM is going to figure it out, and something will happen."

As to whether or not there is actually any person at MGM who is smarter than a single-celled organism has yet to be confirmed, considering what a ginormous clusterf*ck the studio has been in.

While I still retain an iota of hope that we will see the stargate spin once again, I am afraid it won't spin on either the Destiny or Atlantis. The idea of "Star Trek-ing" the Stargate franchise pretty much scares the crap out of me as much as it excites me. I love Abrams' reboot of the original Star Trek, but do we really want to see someone like Chris Pine step into the boots of Jack O'Neill?


I bet he'd look like this throughout the entire film. Totally what you'd expect in a military leader...


Of course it's a gross hyperbole, but we all know that if MGM did go the "Star Trek" route we'd be getting something like this. We'd probably get a little cameo from maybe Amanda Tapping because she has boobies and because she'd be the one passing on the torch like Nimoy did in Star Trek. I might sound pessimistic but come on, the Star Trek film was aimed at a wide audience and not just us geeks, but the mindless masses, and let's face it, the masses don't care about the Destiny's mission unless the message in the background radiation was a fart joke.

Unless the Stargate team manages to pull a rabbit out of their ass like Joss Whedon did for the Firefly franchise we're up shit creek without a paddle and cuts on our hands.

I may sound really bleak, considering I said I still hold some hope for the Stargate franchise, but it's the kind of hope you really don't rely on. It is only due to the fact that popular shows like Red Dwarf, which has just been given a new season on Dave, after years of inactivity and the failed attempt to make a feature length film (sound familiar?) have returned to the small screen.

After all, Wright did say the franchise isn't dead, after all, the Stargate franchise can be rather profitable, but that's the issue, it will be profit, not the desire to continue a story, that will persuade MGM to greenlight anything with the title Stargate on it.

The only possible route I believe could be a viable way to please the fans would be to have a Stargate mini-series that encompasses all three series' stories.
Wright had been trying to get a film off the ground that would've done such a thing, but of course it was shot down faster than Mitchell's F-302. However, Syfy still likes putting up mini-series like Tin Man and Neverland, as well as Reise: Kingdom Falling, a mini-series that had alot of Stargate alumni working on it. A mini-series that ties up all the loose ends left behind by Atlantis and SGU (can we really say SG-1 has any loose ends to tie up apart from Jack finally hooking up with Carter?) would be a dream come true.

Alas, I'm more likely to find closure in my own twisted drug induced dreams.

It's a sad fact that alot of us don't want to see but, it's a fact nonetheless. Stargate is dead for the forseeable future. And with only shows like Sanctuary and Eureka keeping the sci-fi fans tuning into the ever growing idiocracy that is Syfy, it is a very dark day to be a Stargate fan.


When will we see the this baby spin again? Only time will tell...

The Re-establishment of Cynicism and a glimpse into the future.

2011 is starting off with a bit of a midrange feel to it (high being the best possible feel you can get and low being the worst). This feeling is slowly decreasing as the days go by it seems. It could be post new years jitters, if there is such a thing, or perhaps it's a sign that 2011 will in fact be one of the lowest years to come around since 2004 (which was possibly the worst year in my life personally, I cannot account for anyone else's experience during that year). I try to remain hopeful in the face of it all because even with the midrange feel it isn't all bad. My schedule isn't so hectic anymore and I'm starting to get back to writing more often.
However the quality of the year is clearly diminishing in the realm of entertainment, mostly films. How good can a year be when it starts off with Season of The Witch starring Nicholas Cage? Sure January has carried the stigma of being the place where the crooked cousins of movies are let out of the pen to play but really now? And then there's the whole awards fiasco going on that's been making my head spin faster and more infinite than Leonardo DiCaprio's spinning top in Inception. If the Inception related joke didn't make it clear to any of you, I pretty much think Inception was the best movie to come out in decades and yet every awards show imaginable has yet to acknowlege how right I am in believing that.
This was compounded when Twilight: "Do We Really Care Which One Anymore?" beat Inception at the people's choice awards for best film (I believe). While I can honestly say I wasn't really surprised, I was hopeful that people weren't this mind meltingly stupid. Turns out I was wrong, and my faith in humanity has forever been pulverized into a fine pinkish paste and buried in a shallow grave, the tombstone of which you can now see on my twitter page...
Is it a gross overeaction to such a trivial awards ceremony? Possibly, but think about it, the masses voted Twilight over Inception. It's like the world is inhabited by clones of my brother's girlfriend, and one was bad enough...
I seriously think that if I were Doctor Who right now, I'd abandon earth and start protecting Raxacoricofallapatorius from now on.
This was just phase one of the process that would inevitably re-establish my once thought cured cynicism. The next came in the form of the Golden Globes where not even Hans Zimmer's fantastic score for Inception could beat the tunes of The Social Network??? I never saw the film, nor do I ever plan to, history films never were my thing (and come on this movie will be the movie they show on aged blu-ray powered projectors in dusty history classes to show the history of how the internet changed the way we experience the world, we all know it...) but I seriously doubt The Social Network's main theme wasn't a clever play on a popular French song, nor could it cause your teeth to resonate for hours after watching the movie.
Why is it Inception is being left out in the cold? Is it because everyone still doesn't get it? Are people that thick? Do the masses really think Battleship: The Movie is a good idea? If so I'm renouncing my own humanity!
I never thought I'd be agreeing with the king of egos himself, James "I'm The King of The World, and your wallets!" Cameron, films are really reaching a new low. If Hollywood (or as my favorite good movie lover The Movie Preview Critic calls it: "Story Corp.") is so unimaginative that they have to begin making Uno: The Movie to make a quick buck then it's obvious that movies in general are moving into a very dark and grim future.
It's bad enough I have to pay twenty-three bucks to watch The Green Hornet in 3D with a friend (I would've gone with 2D but time constraints forced us to go see it in 3D.) but when the audience in the theater cheers when they see Transormers: The Dark Of My Ass it's clear that I am part of a group that is slowly dying out as more and more horrible movies get made and endorsed by the brain-dead masses who pay to see it in the most expensive way possible.
We're even remaking Spiderman now, wasn't it only a couple years ago that Spiderman 3 came out? Sure the movie practically killed the franchise but they're not even waiting until after the funeral to dig up the corpse and start raping it for what it has left. Yes, I painted that picture in your mind, now sit there and think about it. Imagine Spiderman's corpse being assaulted by an overpaid moron who wouldn't know a good story if it tied him to a rock and bashed his head in... now you just try and tell me that what is going on there is perfectly fine!

However, it's not all bad news. I do, in fact, have a fantastic story to tell you all about one movie that has so far surprised me. The movie is called Real Steel starring Hugh Jackman and the story is this:

My friend and I were asking ourselves the day after New Years a question any good movie lover will ask themselves: "Is there anything good coming this year?" It's a question we find rarely has a good answer anymore. In fact, when we looked up the list of films it looks like 2011 will end up being known as one of the worst years for movies ever. Remakes, chick-flicks, remakes, bad movie, Nicholas Cage movie, Twilight related (or influenced) movie, the list smelt more of dookie than a sewer.


Then we find a movie titled "Real Steel."

We click on the link to learn more about it. My friend reads me the synopsis. Here is my recollection of the scene:
FRIEND: Real Steel, starring Hugh Jackman as an out-of-luck boxer trying to make a comback...
ME: Really? Come on. That sounds like every other boxer/wrestler movie that has ever come out...
FRIEND: He steps into the ring...
ME: Rocky, The Fighter, The Wrestler... HEARD IT!
FRIEND: and finds himself staring down a twenty foot tall robot!
ME: WTF?!?!?! EPIC AWESOME!!!!

This moment reminded me of why I like movies. The spins on a pre-set genre that can get you geeked up to go see a film, the surprise of finding something that surprises you. This is a movie I will be keeping my eye on as more news comes out, because so far, it's got me hooked...


2011 hasn't started out as strong as I hoped, and it looks like it isn't getting any better any time soon. I doubt it will get better, but we can only see. For now, expect a review for The Green Hornet pretty soon.