Monday, September 27, 2010

10 Ways to Alienate Your Friends

Here are some over the top ten ways to alienate your friends...

10. Have your girlfriend move in with you, like any woman you date she'll suck the fun out of everything you used to do with your friends.

9. Take your friend to see an Opera, if the lousy music doesn't kill you your friend surely will.

8. Don't have a girlfriend but have a girl who just happens to be a friend? Ask if you can be friends with benefits.

7. For the ladies out there. Wear an outfit that distracts everyone from your friend's wedding day. Like Lady GaGa's costume that shoots sparks from her breasts.

6. Did one of your friends lose a loved one? When they're holding the funeral spread a rumor that you slept with the corpse.

5. Are you a girl who is also "just one of the guys?" Ask your buddies if they want to watch Twilight.

4. Do you have a friend with a peanut allergy? Set him/her on a blind date at a restaurant that has peanut shells all over the floor.

3. Is your friend a die hard Star Wars Fan? Give him a life sized figure of Jar Jar Binks but make the wrapping look like it's actually a giant Boba Fett.

2. Always nominate the same friend as the designated driver.

1. Have unruly children? Bring them to your friend's house every single time you come over.

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