WARNING THIS REVIEW IS SPOILER FILLED, IF YOU WISH NOT TO GET SPOILED ON THE SO-CALLED PLOT OF THIS MOVIE, DONT CONTINUE!!!!
Wow, I honestly don't know where to begin with this movie. I mean, wow, how do you screw up Tron? You'd think that with this being a sequel and all the writers of this movie would actually know a thing or two about the world of Tron or at least computers and the way a business is ran. Then there's the fact that only half of this movie is actually in 3D, which you'd think would make the tickets to the 3D showing half off.
What the hell happened during the making of this movie? It's like they started filming the movie with regular cameras when someone came up with the idea to make it 3D and everyone wondered what they were going to do with the stuff they had shot already. The way they made this movie seem like it'd be a fun 3D adventure like Avatar is a falsehood, not only does this movie not feel like it's in 3D it also fails at being the supposedly epic movie you saw in the trailers. Of course trailers are always misleading but you'd figure they'd at least show us what the movie really was: a big dumb action movie. The only thing that manages to save this movie is Olivia Wilde's sex factor, plus I totally bought her as a kick ass warrior princess.
The story makes no sense at all. We are first introduced to Garrett Hedlund, playing Kevin Flynn's son Sam, inexplicably breaking into his own company and pirating his own product. All of this nonsense is basically just filler until we get to the grid, which looks pretty but you never feel any sense of threat or danger as Sam easily manages to pull off kung fu moves like Jackie Chan himself. This brings me to one of the many things that maims this movie: the CGI Jeff Bridges. In the movie, Clu is represented as a young Jeff Bridges via digital makeup, which looks completely horrible. I don't understand why they chose to do this when modern makeup artists could do a much more believable job, hell back in the 80's they were able to make convincing old makeup for Back To The Future 2, so why the hell is it that we are so reliant on digital makeup? Sure it worked for movies like Pirates of The Caribbean 2 and Avatar but seriously if you're going to go in that direction then you have to make it look as good as you possibly can and I don't think this was what happened on Tron Legacy. They even used this effect on the real Jeff Bridges in the flashback and it too looked like a rubbery, dead eyed mask.
This movie is so full of fail that I can't even begin to describe what I saw. Hell, I honestly don't think I can't I was running one of the worst fevers I have ever had in my entire life that day to the point that I nearly passed out. I could blame it on the fever, but I believe it was the suckage of this movie.
The lightcycle battles, while flashy, don't retain that sense of claustrophobia as the walls of light quickly turn into a maze of death, we never see this, and to be honest it makes me wonder if the writers ever saw the first movie.
The plot makes no sense as Sam blindly stumbles from one CGI action set piece to the other. It is established that Clu sent the page that drew Sam into the grid, that he was an integral part in Clu's plans to draw Kevin out into a trap. If this is true, then why the hell did he try to kill him in a light cycle race? Hell, Clu's motivation is never fully explained. I'd understand if he was simply continuing with his pre-programmed mission of building the perfect world and that he's just mindlessly wiping out the grid to do it, but they hint at the fact that he's gone all "Third Reich" on the Grid and plans on taking over the world (insert clip from Street Fighter). Why? Because we live in the world Clu wants to invade to add some very thin drama to a drama less piece of garbage.
Olivia Wilde's character is said to be a "new life form that will change the world" yet how can she or any other member of her people do that? They never show us any reasoning behind this statement. She doesn't hold any sort of superpower or secret knowledge that could change the world. All she does is look pretty and kick ass. So how is it that the movie tries to say she's important to the understanding of life as we know it? Because her people evolved out of nothing? Big whoop, we did that thousands of years before them, if anything I'd say her people are behind on the evolutionary road. There's nothing that make me believe she's going to change the world and how we view it. It all boils down to a writer who was pulling ideas out of his ass as he cobbled together this crapfest of a movie.
My god how can you fail at making a coherent movie? It's a problem that almost every filmmaker in Hollywood seems to have now a days as they produce assembly line movies. The problem with that is that if Hollywood made cars instead of movies, the cars wouldn't run because they forgot to put in the engines. It's a very obvious thing to have the movie needs a coherent story like a car needs an engine. Without it you go nowhere.
It's sad to think that this was the best movie of all the things people can be watching this weekend. That even with all of this crap weighing it down it's still the no. 1 movie at the box office.
God I have a headache...
Two headaches out of five actually...
Can't believe they killed off Jeff Bridges in that movie, it's like Kingdom of The Crystal Skull killing off Harrison Ford...
Fail... just fail...
Showing posts with label slob. Show all posts
Showing posts with label slob. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
"The Power Of An Idea" a review of Christopher Nolan's "Inception"
Dreams are very illusive and confusing for me. I rarely have dreams, and whenever I do it's always something warped and wrong (never helpful or inspirational like James Cameron's dreams or his mother's...). In fact, if dreams could be interpreted, most would interpret my dreams as my subconscious hates me. There are only a handful of dreams I actually remember. The first when I was about eight years old where I dreamt that Spider-Man (dressed in yellow armor that made him look like a robot ninja), the mad hatter and his rabbit friend (like in the Disney cartoon?), and a guy resembling Solid Snake fight off a Predator. The Mad Hatter and his friend freeze to death, Solid Snake and Spider-Man fight the Predator, and I wake up very confused.
The second dream holds stronger evidence that my subconscious hates me. The second dream was about an orgy in a pool, and no one would go within fifty feet of me... (...I've gotta go cry for a minute...)
The Third dream is the most recent (in fact the night after I saw Inception). Where I dreamt that me and some buddies were at some pool/beach and a shark (which I think I conjured into existence) ate a kid. And I haven't seen shark week.
Never-the-less, these are the only truly memorable dreams I've ever had. However, my near complete lack of dreams has sparked an interest in "dream planting" and "lucid dreaming." I figure if my subconscious couldn't give me a decent dream I might as well make one myself (it is the only way you can get a job done right, right?). So when I learned about Inception's premise I was quite intrigued.
Inception is one of the most thought provoking films I've ever seen. Sure, Avatar made me think... about what James Cameron was smoking when he came up and filmed the movie! But Inception kept me engaged with a good story with entertaining characters and a brilliant cast to portray said characters. Christopher Nolan once again proves he can make a totally awesome movie and it doesn't have to have 3-D or a target demographic to provide it with life. Instead he uses the most powerful and virulent thing out there... an idea... and a great one at that.
WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!
Apparently, Nolan has been working on this idea since he was a teenager, and the final result shows the hard work and though put into every scene. The idea seems simple. A heist film but instead of a bank vault full of cash, it's the human mind and ideas. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Dom Cobb, an "extractor" who goes into people's minds and literally steals secret information that would otherwise be unreachable. The movie barely touches on the science behind the sharing of dreams, going for a simple explanation that "the military was working on it back in the Cold War" and that "now it's only practical use is theft of information." I would've liked to see a more solid explanation as to how these people go into other people's dreams, but by the time the basic idea that these guys can go into dreams is established in the beginning an explanation isn't actually needed. You get it right away, these dudes do it and there's no point fussing over the technobable.
However, "extraction" (the theft of information and ideas stored in the mind) isn't a one man job. Leo isn't alone. He works with a team who all have their part. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tommy from 3rd Rock From The Sun) plays Arthur, Leo's partner and point-man who gathers information for "architects" to use in the creation of the dream world. Architects make the dream world, they build it, every building, every carpet, that the victims fill their subconscious with. Juno's Ellen Page plays the newly recruited architect to the team, who begins to delve into Leo's dark past.
You see there's this woman that seems to follow Leo everywhere he goes in the dream world. Her name is Mal (Public Enemies' Marion Cotillard), and she's always willing to throw a monkey wrench into the team's plans. The twist here is that she's Leo's dead wife. She's a subconscious representation of guilt that affects their missions. However, Leo refuses to stay out of the missions even though she could ruin everything, which I find very silly. Sure he's the go-to guy for this line of work, but when an evil manifestation of your guilt in the form of your wife intends on potentially ruining a very dangerous mission I'd honestly stay out no matter how badly I want to see my kids. Let the mentally balanced people do the dangerous work, you know?
Anyways the story is about these characters doing something that's very different from their regular line of work. It's called "inception." Instead of stealing an idea, they need to plant an idea. Their client is a rich businessman who wants the son of a rival to dissolve the rival company, the problem is that inception hasn't been successfully done before (except Leo claims to have done it before, more on that later). The idea can't be planted unless the mind thinks it came from its own inspiration, but that's when things start to get tricky.
Leo's team is tasked with planting the idea, and in return the boss will ensure Leo can go back to America to be with his family again. With his very freedom on the line, Leo and co. board the plane that the son is flying on in order to dose him up with powerful sedatives and plant the idea in ten hours. But there's a catch... well a lot of catches actually.
Due to the use of powerful sedatives, death in the dream (which normally wakes people up) results in being sent into "limbo" where the mind can experience years. You see dreams have a longer time than in reality (basically sixty seconds real time is an hour in dream time). And the fact that they are going into three different "levels" of dreaming (a dream within a dream within a dream basically) they could experience a year in just a few minutes.
Then there's the fact that their employer (the only dude who can wipe Leo's criminal record clean) wants to make sure they succeed and goes in with him, which means he could be lost in limbo forever.
Then there's Leo's inner demons, Mal will try to foil their plans and Leo can't stop her. She friggin conjures a freight train in the middle of a busy intersection for f*cks sake! You see, Leo managed to perform a successful inception, on his wife, and it turned her in a suicidal crazy she-bitch who couldn't distinguish dreams from reality. Leo's guilty because of this but knows it's possible.
There's also a time limit. In order to wake from all three dreams timed "kicks" have been set up so that everyone wakes from the dream.
Then there's the fact that the idea has to stick. The son (Cillian Murphy) has to basically convince himself that dissolving his father's empire was his idea.
Of course, like in any film, everything doesn't go according to plan, but they manage to get everything in order before time is up.
This movie is excellent. I loved everything about it, even Ellen Page who I never liked until now. It was about the story, not about the technology or the cgi (like SOME films). I never felt lost in the whole dream thing, until the end. The end will have you spinning like Leo's totem. All in all, I loved this movie, and I really really really want to go see it in IMAX... maybe it's time I took a road trip to Portland again...
I give Inception five plot twists out of five. (I think there are more plot twists in this movie, if you count the whole dream within a dream thing at the beginning a plot twist, than in an M. Night Shyamalan film that doesn't suck.)
The second dream holds stronger evidence that my subconscious hates me. The second dream was about an orgy in a pool, and no one would go within fifty feet of me... (...I've gotta go cry for a minute...)
The Third dream is the most recent (in fact the night after I saw Inception). Where I dreamt that me and some buddies were at some pool/beach and a shark (which I think I conjured into existence) ate a kid. And I haven't seen shark week.
Never-the-less, these are the only truly memorable dreams I've ever had. However, my near complete lack of dreams has sparked an interest in "dream planting" and "lucid dreaming." I figure if my subconscious couldn't give me a decent dream I might as well make one myself (it is the only way you can get a job done right, right?). So when I learned about Inception's premise I was quite intrigued.
Inception is one of the most thought provoking films I've ever seen. Sure, Avatar made me think... about what James Cameron was smoking when he came up and filmed the movie! But Inception kept me engaged with a good story with entertaining characters and a brilliant cast to portray said characters. Christopher Nolan once again proves he can make a totally awesome movie and it doesn't have to have 3-D or a target demographic to provide it with life. Instead he uses the most powerful and virulent thing out there... an idea... and a great one at that.
WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!
Apparently, Nolan has been working on this idea since he was a teenager, and the final result shows the hard work and though put into every scene. The idea seems simple. A heist film but instead of a bank vault full of cash, it's the human mind and ideas. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Dom Cobb, an "extractor" who goes into people's minds and literally steals secret information that would otherwise be unreachable. The movie barely touches on the science behind the sharing of dreams, going for a simple explanation that "the military was working on it back in the Cold War" and that "now it's only practical use is theft of information." I would've liked to see a more solid explanation as to how these people go into other people's dreams, but by the time the basic idea that these guys can go into dreams is established in the beginning an explanation isn't actually needed. You get it right away, these dudes do it and there's no point fussing over the technobable.
However, "extraction" (the theft of information and ideas stored in the mind) isn't a one man job. Leo isn't alone. He works with a team who all have their part. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tommy from 3rd Rock From The Sun) plays Arthur, Leo's partner and point-man who gathers information for "architects" to use in the creation of the dream world. Architects make the dream world, they build it, every building, every carpet, that the victims fill their subconscious with. Juno's Ellen Page plays the newly recruited architect to the team, who begins to delve into Leo's dark past.
You see there's this woman that seems to follow Leo everywhere he goes in the dream world. Her name is Mal (Public Enemies' Marion Cotillard), and she's always willing to throw a monkey wrench into the team's plans. The twist here is that she's Leo's dead wife. She's a subconscious representation of guilt that affects their missions. However, Leo refuses to stay out of the missions even though she could ruin everything, which I find very silly. Sure he's the go-to guy for this line of work, but when an evil manifestation of your guilt in the form of your wife intends on potentially ruining a very dangerous mission I'd honestly stay out no matter how badly I want to see my kids. Let the mentally balanced people do the dangerous work, you know?
Anyways the story is about these characters doing something that's very different from their regular line of work. It's called "inception." Instead of stealing an idea, they need to plant an idea. Their client is a rich businessman who wants the son of a rival to dissolve the rival company, the problem is that inception hasn't been successfully done before (except Leo claims to have done it before, more on that later). The idea can't be planted unless the mind thinks it came from its own inspiration, but that's when things start to get tricky.
Leo's team is tasked with planting the idea, and in return the boss will ensure Leo can go back to America to be with his family again. With his very freedom on the line, Leo and co. board the plane that the son is flying on in order to dose him up with powerful sedatives and plant the idea in ten hours. But there's a catch... well a lot of catches actually.
Due to the use of powerful sedatives, death in the dream (which normally wakes people up) results in being sent into "limbo" where the mind can experience years. You see dreams have a longer time than in reality (basically sixty seconds real time is an hour in dream time). And the fact that they are going into three different "levels" of dreaming (a dream within a dream within a dream basically) they could experience a year in just a few minutes.
Then there's the fact that their employer (the only dude who can wipe Leo's criminal record clean) wants to make sure they succeed and goes in with him, which means he could be lost in limbo forever.
Then there's Leo's inner demons, Mal will try to foil their plans and Leo can't stop her. She friggin conjures a freight train in the middle of a busy intersection for f*cks sake! You see, Leo managed to perform a successful inception, on his wife, and it turned her in a suicidal crazy she-bitch who couldn't distinguish dreams from reality. Leo's guilty because of this but knows it's possible.
There's also a time limit. In order to wake from all three dreams timed "kicks" have been set up so that everyone wakes from the dream.
Then there's the fact that the idea has to stick. The son (Cillian Murphy) has to basically convince himself that dissolving his father's empire was his idea.
Of course, like in any film, everything doesn't go according to plan, but they manage to get everything in order before time is up.
This movie is excellent. I loved everything about it, even Ellen Page who I never liked until now. It was about the story, not about the technology or the cgi (like SOME films). I never felt lost in the whole dream thing, until the end. The end will have you spinning like Leo's totem. All in all, I loved this movie, and I really really really want to go see it in IMAX... maybe it's time I took a road trip to Portland again...
I give Inception five plot twists out of five. (I think there are more plot twists in this movie, if you count the whole dream within a dream thing at the beginning a plot twist, than in an M. Night Shyamalan film that doesn't suck.)
Friday, July 30, 2010
A Semi-Poetic view on people who vacuum at the worst times titled...
"Isn't There A Better Time For That?"
A Semi-poetic message to all you neat freaks who choose to vacuum when I'm watching something on the tele.
To all those who vacuum at the worst possible time
I ask you: "why?"
Why do you do it you annoying little neat freaks?
In the twenty-four hours that make up all days
Why do you find that the best time to pull the Hoover out
Is when I'm watching CSI, House, or Walkabout?
Do you realize what a pain it is
to have some git clean up at a time like this?
In all the hours in a day
Why not when I'm out on a stroll?
Perhapse when I'm working
Or maybe just maybe when I'm not in the same room?
I ask you, you freakish little sh*t
do you take pleasure in bugging me?
Cause it doesn't please me one bit!
Sure you apologize, but I can't help but wonder
while I imagine you wearing your ass for a hat
Isn't there a better time for that?
Here I am watching a show
when you barge in with vacuum in tow.
I think to my self
Is it more for you?
Is it a hobby?
And then ask myself
Would anyone find your body?
Sure it's a job that needs to be done
I cannot deny this fact
But I can't help but ask you
Isn't there a better time for that?
A Semi-poetic message to all you neat freaks who choose to vacuum when I'm watching something on the tele.
To all those who vacuum at the worst possible time
I ask you: "why?"
Why do you do it you annoying little neat freaks?
In the twenty-four hours that make up all days
Why do you find that the best time to pull the Hoover out
Is when I'm watching CSI, House, or Walkabout?
Do you realize what a pain it is
to have some git clean up at a time like this?
In all the hours in a day
Why not when I'm out on a stroll?
Perhapse when I'm working
Or maybe just maybe when I'm not in the same room?
I ask you, you freakish little sh*t
do you take pleasure in bugging me?
Cause it doesn't please me one bit!
Sure you apologize, but I can't help but wonder
while I imagine you wearing your ass for a hat
Isn't there a better time for that?
Here I am watching a show
when you barge in with vacuum in tow.
I think to my self
Is it more for you?
Is it a hobby?
And then ask myself
Would anyone find your body?
Sure it's a job that needs to be done
I cannot deny this fact
But I can't help but ask you
Isn't there a better time for that?
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