It's mind boggling how vast the universe is. You'd think that with all that space there'd be more out there than just more galaxies. I keep expecting to see a Starbucks through my telescope in the late hours of the night. No doubt this will soon be a common sight when man has grasped the stars as his new dominion. Large, planet sized, Starbucks restaurants as far as the quantum scope can see. After all... if there is nothing in the universe but more and more galaxies, why not put a couple Starbucks to liven things up a bit?
This is a new chapter in "Somewhere In Another Universe..."
Somewhere in another universe:
Justin Bieber gets water bottles thrown at him on an hourly basis... and they're filled with lead.
Instead of showing me the "Fail Whale" Twitter just redirects me to a porn site and apologizes for the inconvenience. That way I'm not as irked about it.
Girls ages 9 through 19 aren't seen as a viable demographic to cash in on.
People actually know that Twilight was the first book Stephenie Meyer ever wrote, and that this fact explains a lot of things...
Car commercials actually try to be entertaining.
Lewis Black is still funny.
Every problem can be solved with SCIENCE!!!!!
M. Night Shyamalan has never made a crappy movie.
Death Row inmates are given a choice on how to die. Either die by crucifixion, or watch all the Twilight movies. Statistics say most go for crucifixion.
Wearing sunglasses while firing a gun makes you look cool, firing a gun without blinking makes you god.
The United States have elected their first dolphin president.
There is a movie where all the zombies are vegetarian.
We have discovered a deadly microscopic life form in our solar system. It's structure looks uncannily like Justin Bieber and strangely enough any persons infected with this life form begin to bleed from the ears and die twenty minutes later.
"Ring Around The Rosie" has been officially labelled as a song too creepy for kids to sing.
We have portal technology that allows instantaneous travel to any place in the world. However, the police still ticket people for speeding.
There is an air force that relies on kamikaze tactics but doesn't have a large budget. Thus the pilots always set their planes on auto pilot before jumping out of the plane with a warhead strapped onto their heads to keep the loss of their aircraft to a minimum.
This has been another episode of Somewhere In Another Universe...
Showing posts with label not really. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not really. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
"Somewhere In Another Universe..." Ep. 5
The biggest question asked is whether or not there is an afterlife. Is there a place we go before we die? Somewhere in another universe we know there is, and somewhere in another universe we know there isnt. However, somewhere in another universe the universe is the afterlife but is disguised by the idea that it is an alternate timeline caused by the detonation of nuclear weapon over an electromagnetic pocket.... I still don't get how it all fits together...
This is yet another episode of "Somewhere In Another Universe..."
Somewhere In Another Universe:
Steven Spielberg was dealt ten lashes for "discovering" Shia LaBeouf.
Furbies have been hunted into extinction.
Whales have been extinct for a year, this is because the whales saw "Whale Wars" and they wished to cancel the show.
Mike Rowe contracted herpes on an episode of "Dirty Jobs" covering the oldest profession in the world.
The X-Files HBO special (yay nudity!)
We know why aliens cross billions of light-years to probe our anus... it's actually very flattering...
Sex Toy Story: A Dark Tale of Psychological Trauma.
When people talk, text, or bring their loud unruly children into a movie theater; they are immediately taken to the back of the theater and are shot in the head by a bald, sharply dressed hitman. Don't worry the kids are taken to a kennel.
Julia Roberts' mouth is labelled as a weapon of mass destruction.
The ending of Inglorious Basterds is what really happened.
We have already cloned dinosaurs, they do stints in Vegas.
People can have sharks as pets.
Pac-Man is a social allegory for the US's obesity problem. The ghosts represent death, and when you eat healty food like fruit you can stave off death for a while more.
Ideas for funny alternate universes come to me more quickly.
This has been an episode of "Somewhere In Another Universe"
This is yet another episode of "Somewhere In Another Universe..."
Somewhere In Another Universe:
Steven Spielberg was dealt ten lashes for "discovering" Shia LaBeouf.
Furbies have been hunted into extinction.
Whales have been extinct for a year, this is because the whales saw "Whale Wars" and they wished to cancel the show.
Mike Rowe contracted herpes on an episode of "Dirty Jobs" covering the oldest profession in the world.
The X-Files HBO special (yay nudity!)
We know why aliens cross billions of light-years to probe our anus... it's actually very flattering...
Sex Toy Story: A Dark Tale of Psychological Trauma.
When people talk, text, or bring their loud unruly children into a movie theater; they are immediately taken to the back of the theater and are shot in the head by a bald, sharply dressed hitman. Don't worry the kids are taken to a kennel.
Julia Roberts' mouth is labelled as a weapon of mass destruction.
The ending of Inglorious Basterds is what really happened.
We have already cloned dinosaurs, they do stints in Vegas.
People can have sharks as pets.
Pac-Man is a social allegory for the US's obesity problem. The ghosts represent death, and when you eat healty food like fruit you can stave off death for a while more.
Ideas for funny alternate universes come to me more quickly.
This has been an episode of "Somewhere In Another Universe"
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
My Two Cents Worth: Lost Mysteries
So it turns out that there actually were some mysteries on the island of LOST that weren't answered. Like where do the DHARMA drops come from and just what is the island?
This is my two cents worth:
What is the island?
It's an island a landmass in the sea. This one just happens to be able to bend time.
Why do the DHARMA food drops still continue?
Well think about it. Obviously the initiative still worked on the island before Desmond blew up the hatch. Kelvin worked there still, after the purge. The food drops are intended for the Swan Hatch, but no one's told DHARMA that the hatch's gone kablewey!
If that's true, why do the Others let DHARMA live in the hatch?
Would YOU want to spend a lifetime pressing a button every 108 minutes? The Others didn't, they let DHARMA take care of it.
What is the Hurley Bird?
The Smoke Monster, everything else seems to be!
Where's Christian's body?
Blame the Smoke Monster again, he probably ate it.
How come the Island heals only a select few people?
When it comes to spinal injuries and cancer it can do wonders (except for Ben, the island hates Ben) But gunshot wounds it has a hard time with most of the time, that and a big crane falling on you. Basically if you die, the island hates you (Sun and Jin drowned, the island is still trying to heal them)
What's with the Taweret statue and all the other Egyptian crap?
Hey, Egyptian stuff always makes things more mysterious. That and if we can't even figure out (definitively) how the pyramids were built then how do you expect that to be answered?
Why did Smokey kill Mr. Eko?
Smokey heard the actor who played Mr. Eko was hating life in Hawaii, he decided to lend a hand.
What's so special about Walt? They made such a big deal about it before?
Walt was originally slated to be the new Jacob, but the kid grew up too damn fast. As Yoda would say: "He is too old!"
What would've happened if The Smoke Monster had left the island?
Well I guess the show would've ended on a very dark note with MIB sailing away as the island crumbled into the ocean, what he'd do when he got to the mainland is just as mysterious. I guess he'd model for Mr. Clean as Locke cuz he doesn't necessarily have any powers after turning the light off. However the Flash Sideways ending wouldn't change either way. Apart from that, there would be alot of angry fans, and the creators would "go to hell."
Why are there so many women separated from their babies?
The writers are mean. Seriously most characters have daddy issues, mother abandoment issues must inevitably follow.
What was with the whole "being claimed" thing? It seemed pointless cuz of Sayid.
It was pointless. Just as pointless as Darth Vader falling to the dark side then back to the light at the end.
What's with the numbers?
They have a deeper meaning.
4 represents the number of letters in the most commonly used word in and around the show "What?". 8 represents the 8 surviving characters at the end of the show (Hurley, Ben, Sawyer, Richard, Lapidus, Miles, Claire, Kate). 15 represents the millions of viewers who will forever be stumped. 16 represents the years it will take for said viewers to shrug off the nagging feeling left behind by the show. 23 is there cuz it can be. 42 is the answer to life the universe and everything. DUH!
And that's my two cents worth!
This is my two cents worth:
What is the island?
It's an island a landmass in the sea. This one just happens to be able to bend time.
Why do the DHARMA food drops still continue?
Well think about it. Obviously the initiative still worked on the island before Desmond blew up the hatch. Kelvin worked there still, after the purge. The food drops are intended for the Swan Hatch, but no one's told DHARMA that the hatch's gone kablewey!
If that's true, why do the Others let DHARMA live in the hatch?
Would YOU want to spend a lifetime pressing a button every 108 minutes? The Others didn't, they let DHARMA take care of it.
What is the Hurley Bird?
The Smoke Monster, everything else seems to be!
Where's Christian's body?
Blame the Smoke Monster again, he probably ate it.
How come the Island heals only a select few people?
When it comes to spinal injuries and cancer it can do wonders (except for Ben, the island hates Ben) But gunshot wounds it has a hard time with most of the time, that and a big crane falling on you. Basically if you die, the island hates you (Sun and Jin drowned, the island is still trying to heal them)
What's with the Taweret statue and all the other Egyptian crap?
Hey, Egyptian stuff always makes things more mysterious. That and if we can't even figure out (definitively) how the pyramids were built then how do you expect that to be answered?
Why did Smokey kill Mr. Eko?
Smokey heard the actor who played Mr. Eko was hating life in Hawaii, he decided to lend a hand.
What's so special about Walt? They made such a big deal about it before?
Walt was originally slated to be the new Jacob, but the kid grew up too damn fast. As Yoda would say: "He is too old!"
What would've happened if The Smoke Monster had left the island?
Well I guess the show would've ended on a very dark note with MIB sailing away as the island crumbled into the ocean, what he'd do when he got to the mainland is just as mysterious. I guess he'd model for Mr. Clean as Locke cuz he doesn't necessarily have any powers after turning the light off. However the Flash Sideways ending wouldn't change either way. Apart from that, there would be alot of angry fans, and the creators would "go to hell."
Why are there so many women separated from their babies?
The writers are mean. Seriously most characters have daddy issues, mother abandoment issues must inevitably follow.
What was with the whole "being claimed" thing? It seemed pointless cuz of Sayid.
It was pointless. Just as pointless as Darth Vader falling to the dark side then back to the light at the end.
What's with the numbers?
They have a deeper meaning.
4 represents the number of letters in the most commonly used word in and around the show "What?". 8 represents the 8 surviving characters at the end of the show (Hurley, Ben, Sawyer, Richard, Lapidus, Miles, Claire, Kate). 15 represents the millions of viewers who will forever be stumped. 16 represents the years it will take for said viewers to shrug off the nagging feeling left behind by the show. 23 is there cuz it can be. 42 is the answer to life the universe and everything. DUH!
And that's my two cents worth!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)