Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Re-establishment of Cynicism and a glimpse into the future.

2011 is starting off with a bit of a midrange feel to it (high being the best possible feel you can get and low being the worst). This feeling is slowly decreasing as the days go by it seems. It could be post new years jitters, if there is such a thing, or perhaps it's a sign that 2011 will in fact be one of the lowest years to come around since 2004 (which was possibly the worst year in my life personally, I cannot account for anyone else's experience during that year). I try to remain hopeful in the face of it all because even with the midrange feel it isn't all bad. My schedule isn't so hectic anymore and I'm starting to get back to writing more often.
However the quality of the year is clearly diminishing in the realm of entertainment, mostly films. How good can a year be when it starts off with Season of The Witch starring Nicholas Cage? Sure January has carried the stigma of being the place where the crooked cousins of movies are let out of the pen to play but really now? And then there's the whole awards fiasco going on that's been making my head spin faster and more infinite than Leonardo DiCaprio's spinning top in Inception. If the Inception related joke didn't make it clear to any of you, I pretty much think Inception was the best movie to come out in decades and yet every awards show imaginable has yet to acknowlege how right I am in believing that.
This was compounded when Twilight: "Do We Really Care Which One Anymore?" beat Inception at the people's choice awards for best film (I believe). While I can honestly say I wasn't really surprised, I was hopeful that people weren't this mind meltingly stupid. Turns out I was wrong, and my faith in humanity has forever been pulverized into a fine pinkish paste and buried in a shallow grave, the tombstone of which you can now see on my twitter page...
Is it a gross overeaction to such a trivial awards ceremony? Possibly, but think about it, the masses voted Twilight over Inception. It's like the world is inhabited by clones of my brother's girlfriend, and one was bad enough...
I seriously think that if I were Doctor Who right now, I'd abandon earth and start protecting Raxacoricofallapatorius from now on.
This was just phase one of the process that would inevitably re-establish my once thought cured cynicism. The next came in the form of the Golden Globes where not even Hans Zimmer's fantastic score for Inception could beat the tunes of The Social Network??? I never saw the film, nor do I ever plan to, history films never were my thing (and come on this movie will be the movie they show on aged blu-ray powered projectors in dusty history classes to show the history of how the internet changed the way we experience the world, we all know it...) but I seriously doubt The Social Network's main theme wasn't a clever play on a popular French song, nor could it cause your teeth to resonate for hours after watching the movie.
Why is it Inception is being left out in the cold? Is it because everyone still doesn't get it? Are people that thick? Do the masses really think Battleship: The Movie is a good idea? If so I'm renouncing my own humanity!
I never thought I'd be agreeing with the king of egos himself, James "I'm The King of The World, and your wallets!" Cameron, films are really reaching a new low. If Hollywood (or as my favorite good movie lover The Movie Preview Critic calls it: "Story Corp.") is so unimaginative that they have to begin making Uno: The Movie to make a quick buck then it's obvious that movies in general are moving into a very dark and grim future.
It's bad enough I have to pay twenty-three bucks to watch The Green Hornet in 3D with a friend (I would've gone with 2D but time constraints forced us to go see it in 3D.) but when the audience in the theater cheers when they see Transormers: The Dark Of My Ass it's clear that I am part of a group that is slowly dying out as more and more horrible movies get made and endorsed by the brain-dead masses who pay to see it in the most expensive way possible.
We're even remaking Spiderman now, wasn't it only a couple years ago that Spiderman 3 came out? Sure the movie practically killed the franchise but they're not even waiting until after the funeral to dig up the corpse and start raping it for what it has left. Yes, I painted that picture in your mind, now sit there and think about it. Imagine Spiderman's corpse being assaulted by an overpaid moron who wouldn't know a good story if it tied him to a rock and bashed his head in... now you just try and tell me that what is going on there is perfectly fine!

However, it's not all bad news. I do, in fact, have a fantastic story to tell you all about one movie that has so far surprised me. The movie is called Real Steel starring Hugh Jackman and the story is this:

My friend and I were asking ourselves the day after New Years a question any good movie lover will ask themselves: "Is there anything good coming this year?" It's a question we find rarely has a good answer anymore. In fact, when we looked up the list of films it looks like 2011 will end up being known as one of the worst years for movies ever. Remakes, chick-flicks, remakes, bad movie, Nicholas Cage movie, Twilight related (or influenced) movie, the list smelt more of dookie than a sewer.


Then we find a movie titled "Real Steel."

We click on the link to learn more about it. My friend reads me the synopsis. Here is my recollection of the scene:
FRIEND: Real Steel, starring Hugh Jackman as an out-of-luck boxer trying to make a comback...
ME: Really? Come on. That sounds like every other boxer/wrestler movie that has ever come out...
FRIEND: He steps into the ring...
ME: Rocky, The Fighter, The Wrestler... HEARD IT!
FRIEND: and finds himself staring down a twenty foot tall robot!
ME: WTF?!?!?! EPIC AWESOME!!!!

This moment reminded me of why I like movies. The spins on a pre-set genre that can get you geeked up to go see a film, the surprise of finding something that surprises you. This is a movie I will be keeping my eye on as more news comes out, because so far, it's got me hooked...


2011 hasn't started out as strong as I hoped, and it looks like it isn't getting any better any time soon. I doubt it will get better, but we can only see. For now, expect a review for The Green Hornet pretty soon.

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