Tuesday, August 17, 2010

"Somewhere In Another Universe..." Episode 7

It's mind boggling how vast the universe is. You'd think that with all that space there'd be more out there than just more galaxies. I keep expecting to see a Starbucks through my telescope in the late hours of the night. No doubt this will soon be a common sight when man has grasped the stars as his new dominion. Large, planet sized, Starbucks restaurants as far as the quantum scope can see. After all... if there is nothing in the universe but more and more galaxies, why not put a couple Starbucks to liven things up a bit?

This is a new chapter in "Somewhere In Another Universe..."

Somewhere in another universe:
Justin Bieber gets water bottles thrown at him on an hourly basis... and they're filled with lead.

Instead of showing me the "Fail Whale" Twitter just redirects me to a porn site and apologizes for the inconvenience. That way I'm not as irked about it.

Girls ages 9 through 19 aren't seen as a viable demographic to cash in on.

People actually know that Twilight was the first book Stephenie Meyer ever wrote, and that this fact explains a lot of things...

Car commercials actually try to be entertaining.

Lewis Black is still funny.

Every problem can be solved with SCIENCE!!!!!

M. Night Shyamalan has never made a crappy movie.

Death Row inmates are given a choice on how to die. Either die by crucifixion, or watch all the Twilight movies. Statistics say most go for crucifixion.

Wearing sunglasses while firing a gun makes you look cool, firing a gun without blinking makes you god.

The United States have elected their first dolphin president.

There is a movie where all the zombies are vegetarian.

We have discovered a deadly microscopic life form in our solar system. It's structure looks uncannily like Justin Bieber and strangely enough any persons infected with this life form begin to bleed from the ears and die twenty minutes later.

"Ring Around The Rosie" has been officially labelled as a song too creepy for kids to sing.

We have portal technology that allows instantaneous travel to any place in the world. However, the police still ticket people for speeding.

There is an air force that relies on kamikaze tactics but doesn't have a large budget. Thus the pilots always set their planes on auto pilot before jumping out of the plane with a warhead strapped onto their heads to keep the loss of their aircraft to a minimum.

This has been another episode of Somewhere In Another Universe...

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