Wednesday, August 11, 2010

"Somewhere In Another Universe" Episode 6

Our universe is populated by us and anything that lives beyond our solar system. We don't know what actually exists outside of our little collection of celestial bodies, but we have a general census that tells us that beyond our universe there might be or might not be another form of intelligent life. What we do know for certain is that there are lots of large hunks of rock and giant balls of gas floating around out there. However, somewhere in another universe, the giant balls of gas and rock are undecided on whether or not other celestial bodies exist outside of their respective solar systems but they are fairly certain that most, if not all of them, carry loud obnoxious forms of supposedly "intelligent" life.

This is another episode of "Somewhere In Another Universe..."

Somewhere in another universe:
Netflix has grown into a super-powerful corporation that rivals Wal-Mart, but you still can't find a good pair of shoes at either one of them.

The world has suffered a great disaster that has reverted human civilization back thousands of years. However, recent discovery of "lost records" have inspired a new form of religion called "Potterstantism" i.e. those who follow the lessons written in the book of Harry Potter. They constantly fight with members of another religious sect called the "Tolkiens."

We vote for politicians the same way we vote for the next American Idol and we still hate the ones who win.

Benjamin Franklin once said: "... in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and threesomes."

Seth McFarlane had an original idea once.

It's always lupus.

Edward Norton will be in the new Avengers movie.

Pixar has made an R rated movie.

Pie is part of a healthy breakfast.

Everybody loves steak, even vegetarians.

Science fiction physics apply to the real world, i.e. if you throw a nuke into the sun it will start working again.

Organic food is people!

The phrase "It's the best thing since sliced bread" has been updated to "It's the best thing since internet porn."

Instead of getting me a birthday card with a sexy woman on it, people just get me the sexy woman.

Hostage negotiators use children to negotiate with criminals because they know the kid will always win in a negotiation.

All those years of watching zombie movies will pay off eventually.

Society is exactly like it is in the film "The Invention of Lying" but here it's actually funny when Ricky Gervais discovers lying.

Skynet has found better things to do with it's time machine assassination idea, like killing off Sephanie Meyer before she writes the Twilight books.

Someone has found a demotivational poster that actually demotivates someone instead of making them laugh.

Stephen King has been called the "Master of Horror" hence Stephanie Meyer has been called the "Queen of Suck."

Wasps actually have a significant role in the ecosystem apart from just being really annoying--and sometimes horrifying--pests.

Interrogators know that the best way to get answers from anyone, even operatives trained to resist forms of interrogation, is to play a 30 minute video of people getting hit in the crotch in humorous and sometimes horrible ways.

Ubisoft has made a game that doesn't have some bullshit logic like enemies spawning in spots just seconds after you've passed them and dying from ridiculously short falls.

This has been another episode of Somewhere In Another Universe.

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